


Therapeutic Urination is Not a Thing

by suchplausibilities



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/F, Kara is a Bear Grylls Superfan, Kara is a big baby, Lena hates pseudoscience, and the beach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:36:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23257789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suchplausibilities/pseuds/suchplausibilities
Summary: The ocean harbors many dangers. Thank god Kara is a fearless adventurer.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 4
Kudos: 110





	Therapeutic Urination is Not a Thing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gveret](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gveret/gifts).



> I asked my beautiful friend Noam for three weird words that were related in no way as a writing exercise. 
> 
> As usual, they came through. Hopefully I did them justice.
> 
> Words: Supermarket, barnacle, debacle

She was starting to get why Lena hated the ocean. 

She groaned into Lena’s shoulder as she was lifted from the sand, too focused on the throbbing in her foot to mention (again) how hot it was when Lena showed off just how deceptively strong she was. Talk about a wasted opportunity. 

“I’m sorry, darling,” Lena said genuinely, trying her best to be gentle and reassuring. “I know it hurts, but the grocery store’s right off of the beach. We’ll be there in no time.” 

“No, we’ll be there in like, ten minutes. Ten minutes is not ‘no time.’” She replied, lifting her head up just enough to ensure that her words were clear. She knew she was being petulant, but she wasn’t sorry. She’d earned this. She deserved to be petulant. “I’m dying here, Lena. Sophomore year at NCU I broke my wrist, my nose, and bruised my ribs twice during lacrosse season. This is worse than that. Times twenty.” 

Lena’s eyebrows rose at the confession. Good god. She’d heard about the injuries before, but no one had mentioned that they’d all happened in the same season. Kara had said that she’d quit lacrosse for ‘academic reasons,’ but she had no idea that those reasons amounted to ‘so I don’t die and fail all of my classes by default.’ 

“We’re almost there, Kara. Just a few more minutes.” They really were. They’d reached the beach parking lot, and only had a little over two blocks to go. This conversation had proven to be a fitting distraction (For the both of them. Her arms had begun to burn halfway across the beach. Yes, she had more muscle strength than one would think, but she was certainly no Kara). “I hope you’re aware that I’m going to expect you to elaborate on the insanity that led ot that situation later. 

Kara was quiet for a moment, head falling to rest on Lena’s shoulder once again. “I don’t know if I can wait that long.” She didn’t bother to lift her head as she spoke, so the question that followed was mumbled. “I know that you said it wasn’t worth it, but can we at least try--”

“I’m not peeing on your foot, Kara.” Her tone was flat and exasperated. She knew that this would come up again. 

This time, Kara’s head did pop up, needing Lena to hear the desperation in her tone. “Every survival show I’ve seen has said it would work! Bear Grylls hasn’t failed me yet.” As if cued, a sharp, shooting pain traveled from her foot up into her leg, causing her to wince. This was all Lena’s fault, anyway. If she hadn’t been so determined to avoid frisbee, surfing, or any other beach activity that wasn’t reading under an umbrella in a bikini like a fun-hating prima donna, Kara wouldn’t have felt the need to rush into the breaking waves blindly, heedless of potential dangers that might have been lurking. For example: surface-dwelling jellyfish. “It might only work temporarily, but it’s worth it. Trust me.” It really was. As far as she was concerned, her current options were urine therapy or amputation. She was not feeling up for waiting. “And, really: shouldn’t I - the one that would be getting peed on - be the uncomfortable one?” 

“Again: It likely wouldn’t even work. Human urine often isn’t acidic enough to make a real difference. Chances are, your pain wouldn’t be relieved, and we’d have to go and buy the vinegar anyway. The only difference would be that your foot would smell like urine. You can’t tell me that that would be worth it.”

The intensity of her throbbing foot told her that yes, it totally would be. Smelling like pee in public couldn’t be the worst thing in the world. As she looked up at Lena again to make her retort, though, she noticed that they were trudging their way across the parking lot of the small grocery store, heading toward the rack of carts. Okay. Maybe the wait wasn’t that bad. 

Something was bothering her though. “How do you even know this much about jellyfish stings, anyway? You never get in the water when you go to the beach, and you can’t tell me that 99% of people don’t just do the pee thing.” Lena was quiet as she approached a free-standing cart, placing her foot in front of the wheel to keep it steady. The silence and the clenched jaw said it all. 

“...Lena. Did you speed google ‘jellyfish stings’ as I was hobbling out of the water?” Kara was a little offended, but the feeling was nearly unnoticeable due to her growing amusement. “You, who rants so often about how dangerous and untrustworthy internet advice can be so often that it’s practically a TED talk, trusted Google over experienced survival expert Bear Grylls? Were you afraid my seeing you pee on my foot would ruin our relationship? ‘Cause I promise you: I’m in this. Come snow, sleet, or yellow rain. I’m yours.”

Kara’s smile was far too wide for Lena’s tastes. God, she really hated the ocean. 

“Shut up and get in the cart.”


End file.
